Monday, April 15, 2013

The BIG Move

That's right. We are moving. To Massachusetts. It's far, it's scary, and I don't want to. I feel like I am acting a bit like my four year old. I want to stomp my feet and scream, "I'M NOT MOVING AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!!" and then run to my room, slam the door shut, and cry big, fat tears into my pillow.

But, sadly I am a big girl. I must be brave and strong. I must put on a happy face for my children. I must be positive and try to "look on the bright side" of things. Is there a bright side? I'm not quite sure. As I write this I am sitting in a Panera Bread in Raynham, MA. Jay is at a meeting with his soon to be new co-workers...which leaves me alone.....in a town where I know no one.

This brings me to point #1: I WILL NOT KNOW ANYONE! This is scary for me. I am a very social person. I have tons of friends, I belong to two moms group, I go to church, plan parties, host craft nights, and I love it. I love to be busy. What am I going to do all by myself in a town that has 1.5 grocery stores, a CVS, a Marshalls, 1 park, and ohhh wait.....they do have about 48 Dunkin Donuts. So I guess I can wallow in fresh glazed calories.

Yes..I am being negative. Jay and I are in the area until tomorrow night. We flew in Saturday at 10 pm. We looked at rental houses all day yesterday. The search will continue as soon as he picks me up and then again all day tomorrow. We have searched newspapers, scoured Craigslist, called 15 agents, and looked on just about every property site we could find for the past few weeks. Yet, our list is at 12 houses. That's it. Slim pickins. Two houses we saw already I didn't even get out of the car....but I'm supposed to have "good thoughts".

Deep breath. It will be ok.

But will it?? I keep asking myself this question. I have been trying so hard to be supportive. I am so proud of Jay for getting this job. It is a fantastic opportunity. I love him and I want to see him happy, in a job that he loves. I have really been pretty optimistic about the whole thing. Until yesterday.

Yesterday I broke down. I cried. I yelled. I might have actually stomped my foot. I told Jay I didn't want to move. I feel awful for saying that because I know this is also so hard on him. I know he feels like he is taking me away from everyone and everything that I love. And he is. I love Annapolis. I have lived in Maryland for my whole life...30 years, minus the 4 years of college in Florida, but Maryland is my HOME. I love my house. I was pregnant with both of my children in that house. I brought them both home from the hospital to that house. I nursed them in every room of that house. Austin took his first steps in that kitchen. Paige first said "I love you" in that house. We have had every birthday party in that house...6 so far. How many hugs and kisses have been exchanged? How many memories? Too many to count.

I know I will make new memories. New friends. New favorite places. But for right now I'm sad.

I don't want to move.

2 comments :

  1. ((Hugs)) This is an adventure and you're adventurous! I've lived in Maryland for 25 of my (almost) 31 years and I would love the opportunity to move somewhere else. I'm sure you will make the best of it!! I can only imagine how you are feeling but think of all of the memories yet to be made. (I wrote a longer comment but I lost it when I couldn't figure out my BlogSpot password. Awesome).

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  2. I love you and will miss you but excited for your new adventure! And you can't get rid of me that easily by moving we def will be visiting!

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